So it's old news and most of you in the area have already gotten this forwarded to you about 17 times...I have. But I had to share the Arlington Rap. It's hilarious.
There are several references that may only make sense if you live out here, but if you happen to live in Any Yuppie Town, USA, you can surely appreciate the humor.
Check it out.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Rocky Mountain National Park on a Monday Night
We were lost on a mountain in freezing cold gales.
We tried to camp out, but our tent blew like sails.
We hiked down through the trees,
Dying flashlight, bruised knees.
Stick around, I will tell you our tales!
Luke and I headed out with our gear in our packs.
Upbeat spirits, heads high, 30 pounds on our backs.
We climbed up past the trees,
We reached ice and cold breeze,
Through the snow we left clear, happy tracks.
Four hours had passed when we spotted our camp.
We were cold, it was windy, our layers were damp.
Every foot step would sink,
Keep on moving, don't think.
An hour more through the snow we were destined to tramp.
Our camp was twelve thousand eight hundred feet high,
Quickly set up our tent with grand hopes to stay dry.
But the tent shook and quivered,
Huddled inside we shivered.
Should we stay? Not a choice but to try.
We tried to hold out for it soon would be dark,
The 6-mile hike down not a walk in the park.
But the tent flew apart,
Now no choice but depart!
Or our chance of survival would be mighty stark.
Trusty Mag Lite in hand, Ziploc bags on our feet -
Our attempt to stay warm and conserve body heat.
Snow had covered our track,
But we had to get back
“To the tree line! Or else we’re dead meat.”
Lost our trail, found a creek and knew that was the way,
To get off of that mountain and live through the day!
Hiked down through the wood,
Found the trail! Knew we could!
At a sign post we realized we’d gone the wrong way.
Our Mag Lite was dying and we were still far.
Three a.m., set up camp by the light of a star.
Toss the food in a tree
So no bear bothers me,
And at day break, hike down to our Ford rental car.
In the morning we hiked with the glee of a child.
We were tired and dirty, but nine miles was mild!
Nature punched, kicked, and battered
But none of that mattered -
We’d been schooled by Bear Grylls watching Man vs. Wild.
We reached the car by midday, had had more than enough
Of wind burn and sun burn and other rough stuff.
Now you know, we're not dense!
We gathered more common sense:
Trust your instinct, go back when the going's too tough.
We tried to camp out, but our tent blew like sails.
We hiked down through the trees,
Dying flashlight, bruised knees.
Stick around, I will tell you our tales!
Luke and I headed out with our gear in our packs.
Upbeat spirits, heads high, 30 pounds on our backs.
We climbed up past the trees,
We reached ice and cold breeze,
Through the snow we left clear, happy tracks.
Four hours had passed when we spotted our camp.
We were cold, it was windy, our layers were damp.
Every foot step would sink,
Keep on moving, don't think.
An hour more through the snow we were destined to tramp.
Our camp was twelve thousand eight hundred feet high,
Quickly set up our tent with grand hopes to stay dry.
But the tent shook and quivered,
Huddled inside we shivered.
Should we stay? Not a choice but to try.
We tried to hold out for it soon would be dark,
The 6-mile hike down not a walk in the park.
But the tent flew apart,
Now no choice but depart!
Or our chance of survival would be mighty stark.
Trusty Mag Lite in hand, Ziploc bags on our feet -
Our attempt to stay warm and conserve body heat.
Snow had covered our track,
But we had to get back
“To the tree line! Or else we’re dead meat.”
Lost our trail, found a creek and knew that was the way,
To get off of that mountain and live through the day!
Hiked down through the wood,
Found the trail! Knew we could!
At a sign post we realized we’d gone the wrong way.
Our Mag Lite was dying and we were still far.
Three a.m., set up camp by the light of a star.
Toss the food in a tree
So no bear bothers me,
And at day break, hike down to our Ford rental car.
In the morning we hiked with the glee of a child.
We were tired and dirty, but nine miles was mild!
Nature punched, kicked, and battered
But none of that mattered -
We’d been schooled by Bear Grylls watching Man vs. Wild.
We reached the car by midday, had had more than enough
Of wind burn and sun burn and other rough stuff.
Now you know, we're not dense!
We gathered more common sense:
Trust your instinct, go back when the going's too tough.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
New Roommate
Ladies and Gentlemen,
It's been decided - I'll be living at the same address for yet another year. But I'd like you to meet my new roommate, Bailey Cat.
She's almost as cute as my other new roommate, Lucas Man.
It's been decided - I'll be living at the same address for yet another year. But I'd like you to meet my new roommate, Bailey Cat.
She's almost as cute as my other new roommate, Lucas Man.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I.O.U.
I lied a little bit...during my tremendous travels, I didn't have time to pay homage to Limerick Fridays. So I'm here to pay up.
Friday, June 12th
A Limerick About Theft
(in honor of a terrible event in Sarah's life: someone used her mug at work! )
I'm going to find that evil, bad thug!
I know that she's mean and horrendous and smug.
If you know what is good,
You'll return to your hood,
But not before giving me back my work mug!
Friday, June 17th
How I Spent Monday Night.
Here's the first part of it...stay tuned for more of the story!
We were lost on a mountain in freezing cold gales.
We tried to camp out, but our tent blew like sails.
We hiked down through the trees,
Dying flashlight, bruised knees.
Stick around, I will tell you our tales!
Friday, June 12th
A Limerick About Theft
(in honor of a terrible event in Sarah's life: someone used her mug at work! )
I'm going to find that evil, bad thug!
I know that she's mean and horrendous and smug.
If you know what is good,
You'll return to your hood,
But not before giving me back my work mug!
Friday, June 17th
How I Spent Monday Night.
Here's the first part of it...stay tuned for more of the story!
We were lost on a mountain in freezing cold gales.
We tried to camp out, but our tent blew like sails.
We hiked down through the trees,
Dying flashlight, bruised knees.
Stick around, I will tell you our tales!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tour de les États-Unis
Sooooo life is about to get crazy (as if it wasn't already). The next 2.5 weeks look like this:
Camping in West Virginia.
Hanging out with Bridget in Columbus, Ohio.
Drinking with Luke's family at a wedding in Lafayette, Indiana.
Camping, climbing, exploring, working for a day, and getting to see another handful of awesome people in and around Denver, Colorado.
Partying it up with bride-to-be Dawn at her bridal shower and bachelorette party in Chicago, Illinois.
Hanging out with Dad and the Fam on Father's Day in the Chicago burbs.
Collapsing into my bed in VA with the desire to remain there for following 7 days (that's a week!). But alas, I'll be getting up on Monday morning again to go to work...for 2 days. And then off again on the 24th!
Training new employees in our Southern District Office in Dallas, Texas.
And then back to hang out with Luke's parents in DC that weekend.
Phew!
But have no fear...I will have just enough time and access to the Internet to keep up with my Friday limericks.
Catch you in July.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Stinky Feet
Just kicked off my shoes under my desk. I must confess...my relatively little feet smell really HUGELY bad.
Apparently my shoes - flats, heels, sandals - have a lifespan. It seems to take about the same amount of time to completely wear them out as it does for them to start stinking to the high heavens. I think it's time to purge. Looks like I'll be making a trip to DSW sometime soon.
Oh the horror...please please pleeeeease don't make me go to the SHOE STORE!!!
Apparently my shoes - flats, heels, sandals - have a lifespan. It seems to take about the same amount of time to completely wear them out as it does for them to start stinking to the high heavens. I think it's time to purge. Looks like I'll be making a trip to DSW sometime soon.
Oh the horror...please please pleeeeease don't make me go to the SHOE STORE!!!
Friday, June 05, 2009
Backstreet Boys
I'll show you the Shape of My Heart, yes It's True,
You kicked it and cursed it. It's sad, Black & Blue
I Don't Want You Back!
I'm Movin' On, Jack.
Who'm I kiddin'? It's Gotta Be You.
(Dear Yahoo, please check my math...)
You kicked it and cursed it. It's sad, Black & Blue
I Don't Want You Back!
I'm Movin' On, Jack.
Who'm I kiddin'? It's Gotta Be You.
(Dear Yahoo, please check my math...)
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Let's do the Time Warp Again....
Who ate my week? I can't believe it's Thursday. Hell, what happened to the Entire Month of May? Oh yeah - weddings. And visitors. And thinking about weddings and visitors.
And a one-day class called "How to Get More Organized" which planted itty bitty seeds of organizational wisdom in my brain that took root and stirred in me some strange sensation. It's a feeling that is foreign and frightening, but also somewhat exhilarating. I believe it's called "motivation."
My entire life has been spent making To Do lists. I make lists in my sleep, in my planners, in my notebooks, on scrap paper, on my hand, in my e-mail. List-making is what I do. I love pens and pencils and paper, remember? Now here's the catch: You actually have to DO the things on your To Do list. I know, crazy, right?
Most of my To Do lists go like this:
In the past week, this thing called "motivation" has facilitated a change in my list-making mindset. I'm still allowed to keep my master To Do list, that mighty Beast that bogs me down and makes me feel terrible about myself. But starting last week, I've been creating a smaller, more manageable list every day: my Priority List. Every morning, I start by writing down my meetings (endless). Then I guesstimate the number of unexpected fires, e-mails, calls I'll get throughout the day (infinite). This leaves me with the amount of time I'll have throughout the day to get real work done, which is generally about 4 hours out of a 9 hour day (pathetic). Then, mustering all of my strength and courage, I look at The Beast and transfer the most important tasks into my Priority List for the day - with time allocations next to them! AH HA! Finally! I can chew everything I've bitten off!!! And that knowledge means that instead of cowering in the dark shadows of my massive To Do list, I can face my small daily list with enthusiasm and power through those tasks I'd been putting off.
I totally win. I beat myself. I get to cross monstrous, looming projects off my Priority List left and right, every day. And then, with a tear in my eye, I cross them off The Beast. And I'm finding that I leave work with a satisfying sense of accomplishment and more energy than ever before.
Downside: Way less time for blogging and Google Reader.
And a one-day class called "How to Get More Organized" which planted itty bitty seeds of organizational wisdom in my brain that took root and stirred in me some strange sensation. It's a feeling that is foreign and frightening, but also somewhat exhilarating. I believe it's called "motivation."
My entire life has been spent making To Do lists. I make lists in my sleep, in my planners, in my notebooks, on scrap paper, on my hand, in my e-mail. List-making is what I do. I love pens and pencils and paper, remember? Now here's the catch: You actually have to DO the things on your To Do list. I know, crazy, right?
Most of my To Do lists go like this:
1. Write To Do list.
2. Doodle all over To Do list while reading e-mails.
3. Look over To Do list in utter despair.
4. Totally ignore To Do list for the rest of the day.
5. Recycle To Do list.
6. Write a new To Do list.
In the past week, this thing called "motivation" has facilitated a change in my list-making mindset. I'm still allowed to keep my master To Do list, that mighty Beast that bogs me down and makes me feel terrible about myself. But starting last week, I've been creating a smaller, more manageable list every day: my Priority List. Every morning, I start by writing down my meetings (endless). Then I guesstimate the number of unexpected fires, e-mails, calls I'll get throughout the day (infinite). This leaves me with the amount of time I'll have throughout the day to get real work done, which is generally about 4 hours out of a 9 hour day (pathetic). Then, mustering all of my strength and courage, I look at The Beast and transfer the most important tasks into my Priority List for the day - with time allocations next to them! AH HA! Finally! I can chew everything I've bitten off!!! And that knowledge means that instead of cowering in the dark shadows of my massive To Do list, I can face my small daily list with enthusiasm and power through those tasks I'd been putting off.
I totally win. I beat myself. I get to cross monstrous, looming projects off my Priority List left and right, every day. And then, with a tear in my eye, I cross them off The Beast. And I'm finding that I leave work with a satisfying sense of accomplishment and more energy than ever before.
Downside: Way less time for blogging and Google Reader.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Samurai's brother
Sarah called me a cheater...she didn't like my "honor" and "on her" rhyming scheme in Friday's limerick. So she gets a freebie. (whiner...)
I'm clumsy, I'm fat and I'm lazy,
Eighteen beers in, my vision's quite hazy.
My dumb brother's a star,
(Samurai's usually are)
I'm not jealous; I think he's plain crazy.
Happy June!
I'm clumsy, I'm fat and I'm lazy,
Eighteen beers in, my vision's quite hazy.
My dumb brother's a star,
(Samurai's usually are)
I'm not jealous; I think he's plain crazy.
Happy June!
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