Trip to the Dentist

A sharp pointy thing, swooshy sucker, a file;

I open my mouth, you dig 'round for awhile.

Mama always said gain

Only comes with some pain...

I submit for the sake of my pearly white smile.

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Humpy Patrick's Saint Day

What?!

I'm sick and totally delusional and I've lit'rally been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 (or one thousand and ten) minutes and not actually DOING anything. And that's bad I suppose because, you see, they're paying me to stare at my computer screen and not do anything. I've been doing this: shuffle shuffle shuffle papers, open e-mail, answer e-mail, bathroom. Shuffle papers, bathroom. Sniffle, sneeze. Need more water! Woooohooo! That means another trip to the water cooler (yes...we have a water cooler. And I'm part of the water club. And no, we don't stand around the water cooler and gossip. Gossip travels quicker via e-mail, duh!). And then, inevitably, the bathroom...again.

Also involved in my day:

1 e-mail to my boss telling him I was going to stay in bed for a few more hours because I felt like crap

1 phone call to maintenance in which I made them listen to the stream of water leaking from my bathroom ceiling over the phone

1 very nice maintenance man who promised to fix my ceiling once and for all (ha!)

18 unread emails sitting in my inbox...that I have been ignoring for several hours

5 unnecessary, yet quite delicious cookies

28 minutes until I can leave here and go back to my bed

 And one last thing. It's Wednesday, March 17th, and that can only mean one thing:

HAPPY HUMPY PATRICK'S SAINT DAY!!! Go find yourself a damn leprechaun.

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AAAAAhmmm Nam Nam Nam Nmmmmm

Hello Little Girl in your stockings of green,

With your badges a plenty and shoes shined to a sheen.

Oh please show me your wares,

The answer to my prayers!

Tagalongs and Samoas and all things in between!

One box just won't cut it so I'll order eleven!

By the time the week's out, I'll have eaten 'least seven!

Little girl with the beanie,

Darling mini pre-teenie,

You call them Girl Scouts, but they're Angels from Heaven. 

(photo credit)

Be Careful What You Wish For

Raw emotion, news stories, or eating in bed,
Those are the things I should cover instead.
But your wish, my command;
I'll write what you demand,
So this Friday I limerick about "pumpkin bread"!

What!?  That's it.  Go home.