Sunday Story

The house behind me had an all-day bash yesterday, and when I went to bed, there were two partiers still hanging tough. At midnight, I was having a hard time sleeping while I listened to Guy consoling Girl as she complained about a pending trip to Vegas with Art, the guy she's sleeping with but apparently doesn't want to be sleeping with.

At 12:44 a.m., after momentarily drifting to sleep, I was jerked awake by an awful rendition of a woman speaking in a Russian accent. Guy and Girl - two fully functional thirty-somethings with car payments, mortgages, and friends with babies - were making PRANK PHONE CALLS! I might note here that it's awfully difficult to calm your heart rate enough to fall asleep when you're fuming.

So when I was jerked awake yet again at 2:00 a.m. by another shrill vocal explosion, you may imagine that I was furious! However, when I stopped breathing fire and shooting laser beams from my eyes, I took a second to listen and my heart softened ever so slightly. Yep, Little Suzie Svetlana had drunk dialed I-Don't-Like-You-Anymore-Art to pick a fight. "I'm not cheating on anybody here. It's not like I'm your wife. [pause] Well, you don't have to be mean about it!"

Hoo boy was she going to regret this conversation in the morning!

That's when I smiled to myself and promptly fell asleep.