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Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Office

The workplace reminds me of school - grade school, high school, college...take your pick. It's all the same. The he said, she said; the hurt feelings; the busy work and the due dates; the egos; and the rumors that just won't quit. The personalities are even the same: the drama queen, the gossip, the jock, the bully, the nerd, and the geek. And then there's the SUPPLY CABINET. Every employee's dream (especially when there are kids to entertain!). Pens and pencils and colored paper and Post-Its and highlighters. Hell, we even have glue sticks! And when a new supply is delivered, it's heaven for the first few who discover it. "Hey! Look at all these new toys! And they're all MINE!"

But here's another, even stranger parallel between office life and academia: no smoking in the bathrooms. The following email was sent by our management to all staff as a follow up to a prior email about smoking areas. And no, except for removing names, I didn't change a word of it. Are you kidding? This stuff is too good to be made up!
_____________________________________________
From: G
Sent: Monday, May 04, 2009 2:47 PM
To: [All Staff]
Subject: FW: Designated Smoking Area For Our Building

Good Afternoon,
This is just a friendly reminder that smoking is prohibited anywhere inside this building, including the restrooms. If you observe anyone smoking in the restroom, either politely remind them that smoking is prohibited inside the building, or let [office manager] or me know and we will follow up.
Thanks,
G
_____________________________________________
From: G
Sent: Tuesday,
August 12, 2008 7:16 AM
To: [All Staff]
Subject: Designated Smoking Area For Our Building

Good Morning,
I’d like to remind those of us who smoke that [our building] has a designated smoking area, and that smoking is not permitted in the front of the building. Our designated area for smoking is to the rear of the building next to the loading dock. Although others may not follow the rules, I’d like [department] to be a good example. Let’s set the standard by being considerate of others and smoking only at the designed [sic] smoking area.
Thanks,
G

4 comments:

  1. My favorite part was the original email with the designated spot to smoke (rear of the building next to the loading dock).

    Who would voluntarily go stand next to a loading dock?? Won't most people just go outside and do it there without going to the "designated spot"??

    Let's ask M, our closet smoker...

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  2. Rot in Hell.

    social smoking means I would have no knowledge of smoking areas at work because ....wait for it....I don't smoke often.

    How about I only do on the rare occasion when I'm so drunk I vomit at random people's houses. But as I can best recollect I did not smoke near the loading dock.

    ps- who uses glue sticks at work other than elementary school teachers?

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  3. if i didn't know you guys loved each other...

    and yeah, i dunno. we have glue sticks. probably for when employees bring their toddlers in on the weekends. weird. i know. but hey, let's go with it.

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  4. I have a glue stick on my desk and it is the hottest commodity in our office. Someone borrows it at least once a day and eventually I have to go track them down because they didn't "borrow" it, they stole it to keep on their desk.

    Although, now that I think about it, I never actually USE the glue stick. It was here when I got here, and 4 years later, still gluey!

    P.S. I snorted with laughter over M'ls "I'm so drunk I vomit at random people's houses". God, that is a freaking great memory. Not the vomit of course, the pre-vomit and post-vomit. What a fun night.

    ReplyDelete